Back to reality today, with this touching episode dealing with death and bereavement. It seems Slater had this chameloen, Artie, and they were friends but chameleons are mortal so he died. Also, subterfuge - because Zack does not lie only to get out of trouble or get chicks; he also lies to avoid conflict and pain. I'm beginning to think that Zack may have sort of pathology.
Also in this episode, Coach Rizzo is introduced and then squandered. Yo Bayside, if youse is gonna have a dumb talkin' New Yawk mook, you gotta make every frickin' woid outta his mouth a malapropism! Oddawise, why boddah?! The whole thing smacks of missed opportunity.
Oh and also there's this really crazy scene where Slater is dressed as a Lizard, Mr. B is dressed as a Texas highway patrolman, and Kelly is on a giant frying pan with eggs on it doing that "one-foot-down-oucherz-other-foot-down" this-is-really-hot thing. Bravo.
Artie's Song: Oh Artie boy, the bugs, the bugs are buzzing.
There's gnats and ants, mosquitoes on the fly.
And there'll be time for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
In that big chameleon banquet in the sky.
It is ridiculous how big a deal they make out of the fact the Artie eats bugs. It's non-stop.
Most Implausible Moment
All in all, a fairly plausible episode. So, if I have to come up with something: Why couldn't Artie go to San Diego with Slater? I mean, he's fairly mobile in that shoebox, supposedly he's already travelled around the world with Slater, and it's not like he's a big old dog or something. So I don't buy that, I guess.
Coach Rizzo's Malapropism Watch
Only one (what a waste)!
Coach Rizzo: "Our next public talker..."
They really come through here, though:
Zack: "He's probably bored stiff."
Screech: "Now he's stiff as a board!"
Hahaha! See what they did there?
Slater: "Artie's a real sound sleeper. When he's out, he's dead to the world."
Zack: "He looks exactly like Artie, huh?"
Screech: "Yeah, he's a dead ringer."