I went home for lunch today, so you know what that means. Yes, hot dogs, but also Saved by the Bell!
So, in today's episode, Bayside plays Noah's Ark and the students are separated two by two. It's "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" minus Four for a total of Six! What?
That's right, it's the "Make Pretend You're Married" unit in Bayside’s Not-Specific Ed. class, so let's pair us some teens. According to Mr. B, couples are matched alphabetically, so Zack goes with Kelly, Slater goes with Jessie, Screech goes with Lisa, and wait a second that doesn't make any sense at all.
Also, in this episode, Lisa develops a narratively convenient allergy to Screech that gives her a chance to twitch and scratch and ACT, Lisa has one of those trademarked early SBTB dreams where Screech's head is superimposed on everything in her room, and surrealist master Luis Buñuel makes a surprise directing cameo in the last 2 minutes, orchestrating a Freudian-influenced scene in which Kelly and Zack prepare to "dine" on their "child" Screech, whose head is offered to them on a platter. In a moment clearly influenced by Buñuel's experiences with lucid dreaming, Screech's head ends up cloaked in a wig and bonnet, becoming a crying baby girl.
Jessie: Haven't you ever heard of the women's movement?
Slater: Sure, put on somethin' cute and move it into the kitchen.
Most Implausible Moment
The main six characters participate in the marriage project alone, while the rest of the class sits on the side and takes notes. Is it just me or does Bayside seem to be putting all of its educatin' eggs in these six rather dim-looking baskets?
Slater (as Screech writes Lisa's name in toothpaste on a bathroom mirror): "Screech, what are you doing with that toothpaste?"
Screech: "I'm making a symbolic statement - Lisa's giving me the brush!"
"How'd This Get Past Standards" Watch
Screech (to Mr. Belding): "If the girls say no, will you be my Daddy?"