Friday, July 30, 2004

Dr. Kelly

In Saved by the Bell land, there's Sports Bar called "Skeeters," which is like "Hooters" without the super-clever name (they're not just talking about OWLS, guys!). But, for this episode to make sense, you have to pretend its actually a brothel with prostitutes who have SEX for MONEY. Because that is the only way to explain the gang's insane reaction when Kelly starts working there.

Also, there is a young prostitute who calls Screech "sugarbritches" so Screech falls in love with her but uh-oh she calls all of her "customers" "sugarbritches" so Screech learns life's most valuable lesson: Not all hookers have a heart of gold. Take it from a man who's learned that one the hard way (zing!).

Couple this with a lame subplot about Mike trying out for the 49ers (complete with dreadfully earnest training montage. Gatorade on Screech's head? Oh no you didn't!), and you have a half-hour of my life that I will never get back. At least I had some hot dogs.

Today's Quote

Slater: ...38 inch waitressess!

Screech: Oh c'mon Slater! Those girls were taller than that.

Most Implausible Moment

Remember that time in college that you and your buddies had such a good time at a bar that you chanted the bar's name all the way home and into your dorm room?

You don't? Huh.

Ack! Watch

Kelly: "You know my mother once burned her bra. She fell asleep and a Virginia Slim fell out of her mouth."

GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN AND ALL THE SAINTS! I hope she wasn't wearing the bra!

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