Zack's War

So, today we learn that in the 90's, the State of California created the ultra-secret "Cadet Corp" in order to actively recruit high school students into the Army. And boy oh boy does the Army look like fun! You get to march around, play in poorly constructed indoor jungle gyms, and stage strange American Gladiator battles with Mr. Belding dressed in spandex and called "Beldor."

Saddam Hussein is never mentioned, but his spector remains...

Also, it's a nerd/jock feast today with major roles for Alan (no pun intended, fatty), Louise, and two guys named Butch and Rocko. Sadly, this is the last we'll ever see of Butch and Rocko, leaving us to conclude that they are currently somewhere along the treacherous border between Pakistan and Afghanastan, looking for nerds to squash.

Today's Quote

Tie!

Resident fatty Alan gets some delicious KP duty with 2 big ones today. Drop and give me funny, Alan!

Alan: Why should I join the Cadet Corp?

Zack: Because the new army serves cake at every meal!

Alan: Slice me in!

-OR-

Zack: Alan! I said HALT!

Alan: I thought you said malt!

Most Implausible Moment

When Molly, the girl of Screech's dreams for one episode only, drops Butch and immediately starts making out with Screech when he wins the big obstacle race, we not only question the scene's plausibility - we question Molly's patriotism!

Ladies, when your hunk goes off to war, it is your patriotic duty stay true to him. The second you go off makin' it with some 4-A nerd who's home working on some nerd nonsense like the Manhattan Project, the terrorists have already won.

"How'd This Get Past Standards" Watch

Louise: I'm a human dart ... suck my dust, Slater!

History's Fool Watch

Zack: Hey, lighten up Lieutenant! There's no war. Haven't you heard? Peace broke out all over the world!

So quit yer mewin', Bosnia!