1-900-CRUSHED

So, today Zack is reading a copy of his teenage millionaire magazine and "Hey, why don't I start a 900-number dating-advice phone line? Uh-oh, Kelly's sister Nicki has a crush on me! Why don't I get everyone to fight so I make more money? Uh-oh the school's gone wackadoo! No Screech, don't tell Mr. Belding about our secret involvement with the Teen Line! Lisa, HELP! Nicki, I like bugs. You like bugs too? I don't really like bugs. I love your sister! Hello Kelly dressed up in wig and glasses!"

Also in this episode: Bubba and Mama start dating (even though I thought they already had). Zack is forced yet again to do an accent (he's Australian today), proving once and for all that he is worse at accents than Rob Morrow and Kevin Costner combined!

Oh, and Nicki has this amazing dream sequence that is Cinderella only with Slater, Zack and Screech dressed up as RUN-DMC and actually rapping! A+++++ WOULD WATCH EPISODE AGAIN!

Today's Quote

Screech hits two out of the park!

Screech: The last time you had a big idea, I wound up with my tongue stuck to a moving airplane.

-AND-

Screech (in deliriously inexplicable surfer dude accent): Like we didn't need to call, because we're two totally together dudes.

Most Implausible Moment

When the Teen Line drama comes to a head and Mr. Manfredi's (where'd this guy come from?) art class fills with Silly String, we are left to wonder: why is there a can of Silly String on every desk?

Dumb Jock Watch

For some reason, Moose (the jock) is dating Louise (the nerd). This is not explained. But, who cares when the outcome is this poem:

The birds and the bees

And the trees

Don't compare to your knees

Louise.

Awesome.