Wednesday, July 12, 2006


So in today's episode, we learn the hierarchy of intelligence of our friends at Bayside. Slater, of course, is the dumbest, and Zack scored the impossible score of 1502 (not impossible because it's so high - impossible because it is not mathematically possible to score a 1502 on the SAT SAVED BY THE BELL). Also whut-oh and watch out because Jessie also got an impossible score but her's is impossibly lower than Zack's and Jessie reacts the only way she knows how - by going batshit insane. What does all this mean? Why, of course, scamming and subterfuge! Also, for some reason, at Bayside the principal walks around the gym announcing everybody's SAT score out loud to college representatives which seems a bit odd but whatever, Saved by the Bell knows what's up.

Also in this episode, James the Thespian! returns to his narratively conveniant job at the Max, the future Mrs Ben Stiller (fresh off the set of Hey Dude!) jumpstarts her career in a virtuoso turn as Heather the girl who dates Bob (who are these people?), Stansbury is racist against Jessie, Jessie is racist against cheerleaders, Jessie is racist against football players, Jessie is racist against hypocrites, Jessie is racist against Zack, and how come Screech didn't do better on the SATs? I mean, for chrissake, the dude built a talking robot! Remember??

Today's Quote

James: Madam, north, south, east, or west, there's only one HAAAAAAR-vard

So how come they can use the name Harvard but not Stanford? Also, MORE JAMES PLZ SAVED BY THE BELL. THX. SRSLY.

Most Implausible Moment

Lisa: "I thought you got a part in a play."

James: "I did. We performed Cats in dog suits, but I quit when they started throwing bones at us."

Wait. What?

The Official Bayside Intelligence Hierarchy

1. Zack (1502)

2. Screech (1220)

3. Jessie (1205)

4. Lisa (1140)

5. Kelly (1100)

6. Slater (1050)

I advise that you print that out and keep it in your wallet. I can't see how it won't come in handy at some point.

PUNS! Watch

Jessie: "I'm a lean, mean, answering machine."

You know, I didn't think I'd ever say this, but that pun pretty much blows.

Hoop Dreams Watch

Slater: "Boy, it's a good thing I didn't tell her [Stansbury] offered me a car."

Um, maybe you shouldn't tell anybody about that Slater.

Names James Calls The Stansbury Representative Omnibus

1. Mrs Potbellyham

2. Mrs Billygoatcheesehamsandwiches

I guess James really likes ham, dudes.

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