Hold Me Tight

Ok so this episode has exactly one thing to recommend it: Coach Sonski. Man, everything out of the dude's mouth was rock solid gold. Otherwise, there's a girl who wants to be wrestler and blah blah blah but seriously Coach Sonski and Mr Dewey should totally have had a spin-off where they were outer space astronauts stuck in a space station and Sonski was messy and Dewey was clean and Dewey's always reading some math book or practicing his karate and Sonski is like "Hey Dewey, check out dis peanut butter and beer sandwich I just invented" and Dewey would be all "Son-SKI! That wasn't peanut butter - that was the last of our rocket fuel!" and Sonski would be all "Well strap me to da back a dis space station, 'cuz I'm about ta fire da ignition." You get the idea.

Also in this episode, Zack is both turned on and threatened by an empowered woman like the rest of us, Jessie can turn racist and back again on a dime, Jessie is so crazy that it's starting to make me a bit uncomfortable, the narratively convenient KKTY Bayside Radio Station appears again this time with the hit show "Spannow Speaks", Coach Sonski and Mr B are called pigs over 5 times in the first ten minutes, and there's this awesome Valley bully who attacks Zack and screams about murder until some nerd trips him. That part was pretty good.

Today's Quote

Coach Sonski: "Hey you worked on the full nelson and the half-nelson - why don't you show her the Willie Nelson? That's a country and wrestling joke, heh heh heh heh. [singing] I've got spurs that jingle jangle...

Most Implausible Moment

With the exception of Jessie's hairpin emotional turns, this episode wasn't tremendously implausible. So, I guess maybe I wonder where Bayside AND Valley found two 110 lbs. male high school students?

Before The Cock Crows, You Will Deny Me Three Times Watch

Kelly: "[Jessie]'s my friend, but not my best friend. Actually, I hardly even know her."

Man, the past couple of days, Spannow-Kapowski relations seem strangely icy.

Subliminal Explanation Watch

So at one point, Jessie has a picket sign with a big capital S M P running down it (it says "Stop Macho Pigism"). No big deal, right? Well, when she turns it upside down to argue with Mr B and the capital letters read backwards, her character's motivation for the whole episode clicks into place.

Coach Sonski Speaks!

Coach Sonski: "That's cute honey, but this is a gym, not a Jane."

Coach Sonski: "You wanna wrestle with girls, date 'em."

Kristy Barnes: "That's not fair!"

Coach Sonski: "Well I don't have hair and that's not fair either."

Coach Sonski: "I don't care if I'm hated - I have pets at home who love me."

Coach Sonski: "Ok, I'm sensitive to dames. I watch Oprah."

How'd That Get Past Stands? Watch

Jessie: "There were a lot of snorts and grunts heard at Bayside yesterday, and they weren't just from the sweaty, red-faced wrestlers."

-AND-

Jessie (to Slater): "Yeah, when was the last time you held Rodriguez like that?"