Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Operation: Zack

What's that you say? Zack is all of a sudden the star player on the Bayside Basketball team? And today's the big championship game? Well, I hope nothing goes - OH NOES Mr Belding stopped short in the doorway and Zack bumped into him and now Zack needs knee surgery - which, if Saved by the Bell has its medical facts straight (and I assume it does), is somehow both nothing to worry about and the MOST SERIOUS THING IN THE UNIVERSE EVER. Will Zack live? Yes.

Also in this episode, Lisa takes a narratively convenient job as a candy striper, Mr Belding compromises almost all of his professional integrity because Zack walked into him and so he takes all of Zack's tests for him which I mean c'mon Saved by the Bell that is retarded, the basketball coach is very short which is hilarious because basketball players are supposed to be tall get it?, Slater plays basketball too which probably doesn't make the wrestling coach too happy, it turns out in heaven everybody looks like Screech which is pretty strange I think, it turns out nurses are basically strippers without the class and also have no problem hitting on high school kids, Zack has a ridiculous dream sequence funeral where he is buried in his locker and for some reason none of his family attends, and, finally, Saved by the Bell has no shame in shining up the old "remote control controls hospital bed not tv" comedy chestnut. In fact, it's a gag so nice, they do it twice!

Today's Quote

Kelly: Zack, is there anything I can do for you before I punch Jessie out?

The best thing about this quote is it came from nowhere. I was all :O

Saved by the Bell Quote of the Day Hall of Fame

Lisa (tearfully): Please God, take care of my friend.

Guys, the room was all dark and there was a single light shining on Lisa who had her tear-filled eyes raised pleadingly to the sky and dear God in heaven and all the saints please let our friend live through his very very serious minor knee surgery.

Remind me never to get knee surgery in Bayside because jeez Louise everybody was freaking out.

Most Implausible Moment

Somehow, Mr Belding was both at the hospital with Zack and at the game to mess up Slater's big shot. Um, that's impossible, even without LA traffic. (PS: I think I heard on Leno once that LA has bad traffic).

The Powers Family Tree Assemblage Corner

We learn the names of two of the Screecher's uncles today:

1. Uncle Shyster, the lawyer with the amazingly appropriate name.

2. Uncle Maury, who was killed getting his tonsils removed. RIP Uncle Maury.

Screech didn't mention if they are maternal or paternal, so place these two names in your misc. folders for now.

Remember the 90's?! Watch

Screech: "Call me Air Zack."

Slater: "Air Nerd is more like it."

Haha, good one Slater. Also, by way of explanation, Screech was dressed like Zack dressed in his basketball uniform because something something barf.

Black Nerd Watch

Black Nerd (at Zack's dream sequence funeral): "Zack, you were a pretty cool dude, for a non-nerd."

I love the black nerd dudes, but it might be all in the voice.

How'd This Get Past Standards? Watch

It's an innuendoruption today dudes:

Monique the nurse: "Keep her around in case you choke on a bone."


Lisa: "When you did that you ripped off my skirt and I fell and bumped my butt on the ice."


Ugly Sex-Starved Nurse: "Doctor, heal me with your kisses!"

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