The Bayside Triangle

Hey hey hey - what is going on here Saved by the Bell??? The only explanation for today’s episode would be that some executive at NBC let his thirteen-year-old daughter turn the fan fiction she wrote in study hall into a script for an entire show because seriously dudes. Seriously. This episode will blow your minds.

Because in today’s episode, Screech turns his Lisa-stalking up to “restraining order” which would be business as usual except, well, at the exact time, um, well, um, uh, well, Lisa starts making out with Zack. There’s also some nonsense about FIT and clothing designing and blah blah blah, but dudes Lisa and Zack totally make out and are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend forever and ever except that they won’t and will have forgotten all about this by tomorrow. If only I were so lucky.

Also in this episode, you can totally see why Zack digs Lisa because she alternates between lame sarcasm and general pissiness the entire time, I think Jessie was supposed to be drunk for a while, Kelly does that sit-com thing where her “clothes don’t fit” but she really just sticks her elbow in the sleeve to make it look like her clothes don’t fit, Zack wears these awesome Lisa-designed pants with suede faux-chaps and an even awesomer Navajo-esque jacket in the style that is favored by real-estate agents and car-dealership owners in Nevada or Colorado, Slater does this half-dancing/half-Heismann/all-awful runway walk, there is a patented SBtB “Almost Fight” where Screech rips Zack’s shirt and Zack is all “Mikey/Slater/Screech, I’m Not Going to Fight You”, and Screech and Lisa get to ACT and ACT and ACT!

Today’s Quote

Screech: Morris, you’ve got an appointment with fate, and fate’s got curly hair

Most Implausible Moment

Why do college admissions people on Saved by the Bell make 100% of their admissions decisions in the Max?

Also, while not NECESSARILY implausible, this entire episode gives me the heebie-jeebies.

What Is Wrong With Slater? Watch – Special Also What Is Wrong With Zack? Edition

Zack: “Hopefully, I’ll be in college, living in a sorority house.”

Slater: “Hey, good idea, preppie. I’ll live with you.”

Zack: “Our roommates will be Tonya, Lola, and Heather.”

Slater: “I can see it now – ‘Come hither, Heather.’”

Sigh. Guys, sometimes I am just so glad that these people aren’t really my friends.

Jessie And Her Strange Hypotheticals Watch

Jessie: “Lisa, a big fat pimple in the middle of your forehead on prom night just happens – kisses require planning.”

Um, that sure is a lot of detail for a whole lot of nonsense.

Future Oprah Bookclub Member Watch

Lisa: “You mean I got in? Oh girl, you are too much.”

Hahaha, I love it when they remember that Lisa is black, if only for a second.

Nerds And The Things They Like Watch

Unnamed Nerd: “Wake up and smell the Bosco, dollface.”

Wait, I thought nerds liked Ovaltine Saved by the Bell? I’m confused.

Project Runway Watch

Screech: “Model Zack Morris is wearing the perfect outfit … FOR STABBING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE BACK!”