Friday, July 21, 2006

Mystery Weekend

Hey guys have you ever wondered what would happen if your local community theater group and the gang from Bayside got together for a special murder mystery dinner theater night over at the old Stage 'n' Steak? No? Well, in today's episode we find out anyway! And the answer: It will suck! You see, today Lisa wins an off-camera radio contest and the gang goes to the Jameson mansion for a murder mystery thingy and Steve checks the DVR time and realizes he has to watch another 18 minutes of this shit.

Also in today's episode, no Mr B which is a pretty dependable sign for episode lameness, the butler did it sort of, the butler acts like Igor and Columbo at different times, there is a naughty French maid with an inconsistent accent who is supposed to look hot but mostly looks sort of old, Jessie is racist against the French and/or the help, Screech does the worst Sherlock Holmes impression ever, there is some more of the increasingly obligatory cross-dressing, and lordy lord guys this episode was boring.

Today's Quote

Jeanette: Mr Jameson is so cheap he steals towels from his own hotel.

I know, I know. That's just stupid. They didn't give me much to work with here, dudes.

Most Implausible Moment

Ok, aside from the gang being convinced that Zack killed Lisa for $500 and an old lady's crappy necklace, why is Lisa's "mango-tonic with a twist of kiwi" pink? None of those things are pink Saved by the Bell.

PUNS! Watch

Stephen Jameson III: "Care to take another stab at it?" (right after the butler gets stabbed, hyuck hyuck barf)


Jeanette the Maid: "I've brought Inspector Piccadilly from the yard."

Even the puns are lame.

Awkward Sexual Admission Watch

Victor the piano player (to Jessie): "For you my beauty, I'll play the Minute Waltz in thirty seconds."

...and give me another ten and I'll be done with everything else too! Heeey-OH!

Official Number of Times Screech Is Called A "Dork" In One Episode


Saved by the Bell Subtly Imparts A Message

Kelly: "You know, smoking is pretty bad for your health."

Screech: "Yeah and our health too. Secondhand smoke is deadly."

Man, what a bunch of preachy-preaches these kids can be.

That's it for today. You guys owe me one.

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