The Election

Hahaha, ok, so this episode has been sitting on my DVR since the last time I did this which is well over a year ago and that is a long time to have a fairly stupid episode of Saved by the Bell taking up precious space on a DVR so what I'm saying is this is the sort of dedication you won't find on other Saved by the Bell blogs ok?

In today's episode, there is an election and Bayside has a two party system, emphasis on the par-tay (if you're reading this Carlos Mencia, you can have that one - I don't mind, I've got a million of 'em). Zack runs against Jessie because there is trip to Washington DC that is funded by Student Government Foundation (what?) and the winner of the election gets to go to DC with Mr Belding and Mr Dewey (awesome) and for some reason the show seems to think that Washington DC is like Las Vegas crossed with Amsterdam crossed with Bangkok. With more hookers. WASHINGTON DC IS NOT THAT COOL SAVED BY THE BELL. Also in this episode, professionally-printed signs that no kid could have, a slick campaign video that no kid could have, Jessie is racist against food additives and women, Max wears a totally amazing "SPANO IS MY MAN-O" apron that I want as a t-shirt, and we find out Jessie's middle name is Myrtle which is embarrassing dudes.

Today's Quote

Mr Dewey: You make fun of algebra now, but when you're all grown up and your friends are making logarithm jokes at cocktail parties, you won't have a clue as to what everybody is laughing at.

Good gracious do I love the Dewman.

Most Implausible Moment

Ok so Zack announces he's running in math class (why does the math teacher run student government at Bayside any way?) and then that very afternoon the Max is covered in professionally printed "Vote for Zack" signs and he's got a speech ready and everything. So either every kid happens to be on the exact same wash cycle as every other kid in Bayside, causing them to always wear the same clothes on the same day and this is like two weeks later or Saved by the Bell is retarded. I'm going with the latter.

PUNS! Watch

Jessie: "But I'm warning you, Zack, I'm going to kick your butt."

Mr Dewey: "Mr Morris, care to rebut?"

Hahaha. If I ever met Mr Dewey, I would shower him in high fives.

Screech: "...and now you're losing your jock support!"

ALF/Gorbachev/Jason Bateman Watch

I've expanded the title of this section because it is ridiculous how often they mention Jason Bateman on this show. I wonder which 55-year-old writer thought The Bateman was such hot shit with the tweens in the early 90's?

Gorbachev (in Zack's campaign video): "Zack Morris can bring peace."

This was followed with a ridiculous bit where Fidel Castro goes "Only Zack can shave me correctly" which if Castro ever saw he would probably wish the CIA had assassinated him in the 60's. Hahaha, ZING on Castro.

Mr Belding: "For student body president, these people got the following write-in votes: Jason Bateman - 9; ALF - 7; Gilligan - 6; [singing] and the Skipper two."

This could also be filed under PUNS! and might also have been the Quote of the Day if it wasn't for the tsunami of awesome that is the Dewman.

Remember the 90's?! Watch

Zack: "Me? Run? That's like asking Rosanne Barr to skip a meal."

-AND-

Screech's Washington Brochure: "Washington After Dark - sipping ales with the Quayles."

Saved by the Bell Hates Cleveland Watch

Kelly: "You'll go down in history with George McGovern, Walter Mondale, and the Cleveland Indians."

Man, why you always gotta be pickin' on C-town, Saved by the Bell?

How'd This Get Past Standards? Watch

Mr Belding: "I'll never forget the last time Mrs. B and I went to Washington - we were arrested for skinny dipping in the Potomac."

Seriously? Because that's gross, dude.

-AND-

Mr Belding: "Slater, sweet innocent man child, Zack Morris is like a vacuum cleaner - he'll suck you in if he can."

Haha, Saved by the Bell you are like a vacuum cleaner in that you keep sucking too!

Ok, see you tomorrow guys and girls!