Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Will

So, today, it is Mr. Belding's sad duty to report that revolutionary underwear innovator and Bayside graduate Frederick Field has left his mortal coil. But, proving the old adage re: silver linings, Bayside's favorite dead alum has left $10,000 to the school.

What is to be done with such a financial windfall? New books? Aid to underprivileged students? Comedy writers under 50-years-old? A second hallway? Nope, this money shall go to the most noble of enterprises, the most vaunted of institutions: high school athletics!

But this is Bayside after all, and what is Bayside without a hackneyed and implausible BATTLE OF THE SEXES which results in AN ELABORATE SERIES OF CONTESTS and STEVE WANTING TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE!

Also in this episode: people walking into lockers (not once but twice!), ridiculous and embarrassing chants/raps ("We bad, we know it; We bad, we showed it"), LIMBO SLATER!, and pineapple upside-down cake, which is famous for being the cake that only exists on television! Hooray!

Today's Quote

Slater: Yeah, the football team is starting to feel the budget crunch too. We're starting to use fat nerds as tackling dummies.

Oh Slater. Oh my.

Most Implausible Moment

The entire premise of this episode makes me want to take out my brain, wash it in a weak bleach solution, and allow it to dry in the sun. Maybe then I shall be clean again.

What is Wrong With Slater? Watch

Slater: "Excuse me ladies, but this victory train is pulling into the station. One more win and this ride is O-VAH! Choo-choo!"

Seriously Slater? What is wrong with you?

PUNS! Watch

Two today!

Mr. Belding: "One of Bayside's favorite graduates, Frederick Field, passed away yesterday..."

Ox: "Hey hey! Did he invent the football field?"

While maybe not technically a pun, that surely fits all the technical specifications for AWESOME.


Mr Belding: "Everything you need to bake a Pineapple Upside-Down Cake is on your respective tables. So, pick your chef and let's see what's cooking! HAH-ha!"

Oh Mr B, thank you. Thank you so much.


Zack: "I was thinking about that dance on Friday - what time should I pick you up?"

Tori: "Oh how about a quarter to never!"

Hahahaha! "0/4=0" Zack! Hahahaha!

How'd This Get Past Standards? Watch

Screech: "I guess those are soft-boiled balls."

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