Fatal Distraction

Before we start I'd like to point out that the title of this episode is both PUNS! and a Slaterism. It's two-for-Tuesday I guess!

So today, Zack is on the dodge because girls just can't stop asking him to the dance but he wants Kelly to ask him to the dance so Zack must do a terrible Middle Eastern accent because Zack has to do every accent at some point in the series so why not start here? Also, why doesn't he go ahead and bug Jessie's bedroom for the big slumber party? And why doesn't Kelly pretend to be a crazy maniac lady? There's no reason not to, because this is TeeVee!

Also today, Rhonda Robistelli, the jocky girl who digs on Zack hardcore and who I totally forgot existed, makes her premiere, there's another dream sequence where girls like boys too much, Screech does the world's worst Michael Jackson impersonation for no reason at all but at least he dresses like Michael Jackson which is great and then uh-oh he gets busted by Mr. Belding because the school has a dress code (what?). Hey, isn't Michael Jackson in the news these days?

Today's Quote

Lisa (in dream sequence): Screech is everything a girl could want. He's strong; sensitive; funny, but not silly; and he makes me tingle all over.

Screech (waking up from dream): Zack! I make her tinkle!

A character misunderstanding his own dream sequence is bronze, silver and gold, people.

Most Implausible Moment

Now that we're at the beginning of the series, here's one to ponder: Why is Zack always talking to the camera? Who is he talking to? The more you think about it, the more problematic it becomes (like Zeno's paradox or R2-D2's rocket boots in the last Star Wars movie).

The Rhonda Robistelli Compendium, Chapter 1

Rhonda: "Hey Zackee! Hey, what's da rush, button-nose?"

Rhonda: "Hey Zackee, we gotta talk, hunk o' mine. (To the gang) That boy has got one cute behind, oo!

Rhonda: "Sure, take five. I'll go wash my face and floss (wink) for later."

Rhonda: "Mom's visiting dad in the slammer, and we got the house all to ourselves."

Zack: "I don't kiss on the first date."

Rhonda: "Whoo-hoo, good thing for us - I DO."

Bullies Watch

Two for the books today:

Terrible Tommy Tanner

Norman No-Neck Nunzio

Wait a second, isn't Nedick "No-Neck" too? What's with the necks, Bayside?

History's Fool Watch

Lisa: "...if he had the qualities of, say, Michael Jackson. Gentle, talented, gorgeous, and light on his feet."

You, um, you left out a few qualities there, Lisa.

How'd This Get Past Standards? Watch

Lisa: "How'd the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition get in here?"

Zack: "I have needs, too."

Hahaha! Tell it, brother!