First of all, to those of you came here by way of either Qwantz.com or Flak Magazine, welcome! If you read either one, then it can be safely assumed that you are a person of the finest taste and comportment. And, to those of you who came here via Google, that slash-fiction where Slater and Zack meet Bo and Luke Duke is somewhere else I think. Sorry to disappoint you!
So, in today's episode, Screech develops the ability to tell the future because he got struck by lightening, following the explicit rules set out in The Cliched Sitcom Handbook ("Chapter 12: Amnesia, Clairvoyance and Alter-Egos: So Your Character Has Been Struck on the Head/By Lightening/By a Car"). So, um, clearly, scamming.
Also in this episode, the first appearance by Mr. George "Terrible" Testeverde (who you might also know as "the guy in the Micromachines commercials who talked really fast" or "the guy in Transformers: The Movie that talked really fast" - and, no, not Orson Welles people!), Zack does the worst Elvis impersonation in the world for absolutely no reason, Screech in an afro wig!!, this awesome scene where Mr Testeverde talks really fast and Jessie makes smoke on her paper trying to take notes. Outrageous!
Screech: "Now I see the Committees of Correspondence and the Battle of Trenton. No wait! It's the Battle of the Network Stars! I see Patrick Henry ... no, it's Patrick Swayze ... dirty dancing across the Delaware with ... Martha Washington? I see Paul Revere on a bus. Zack! Did you know Lincoln freed the Japanese?!
That's the second Dirty Dancing reference in a week. Say what you want, Saved by the Bell does NOT put baby in the corner.
Most Implausible Moment
Let's assume that the lightening bolt was able to generate the necessary 1.21 gigawatts we all know is necessary for time travel, and examine the following:
Mr Belding: "Um, Screech, I'm just curious - my mother-in-law is staying with us indefinitely. By any chance, can you tell me-"
Screech: "She'll be gone by Tuesday."
Mr Belding: "All right!"
(cue uproarious laughter and applause from "audience")
Are we really supposed to believe that this standard-issue Mother-In-Law joke brought the house down? Bad form, Saved by the Bell laughing track. Bad form, indeed.
Jessie: "I've had straight A's since Sesame Street!"
Zack: "You mean you were a Big Bird brain?"
Slater: "I really could use you ham radio. There's that gymnast I left back in Germany - she really flipped over me."
Fun With Alliteration Watch
Zack: "The three worst things that can happen to a kid are measles, mumps, and midterms."
What about foot fungus, flatulence, and finals, Zack?
Grody to the Max! Watch
Lisa: "You know, I have so much food in me, you could put a quarter in my mouth and a bag of Doritos would come popping out."
Popping out of where?
How'd This Get Past Standards? Watch
Slater: "I gotta come home and start making a slave list."
Zack: "You wish, Slater."
Slater: "Hey, startin' tomorrow, it's gonna be Master Slater."
Say, maybe you slash-fictioners aren't so far off after all...